Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart - Alicia Keys
Happy                                              - Leona Lewis

Hey bloggy, Im back! Firstly, THOUSANDS APOLOGISES for all my reader and my best friends whose out there wondering where have I been M-I-A-ing.. LOL.. Well, sorry for letting the blog neglected or outdated because this year of December 2009, its been a miserable life to me, precisely in every single aspects. Finally, im glad that SPM is outta my mind for now.

Dear Best Friends,

I wanna apologise if I cannot make it up with ya guys to shop or hang kai, its cause Im too busy especially these days and this month helping out my dad who recently got into accident and yet his office accounts (as you can see I've updated), my boss's cash voucher/accounts la. Now, he got into an accident and fractured his left leg and his now on a wheelchair. I'm sorry if ya guys had recently been trying to help me out by ajak me keluar hang kai or something, and that I've gave a lotsa excuse its cause my dad. And yes, I've got no mood on everything, neither logging in to FB, Tagged, Friendster etc. Plus, seriously sorry sorry sorry to say all this, but my dad told me that maybe after my 18th birthday or his leg recovered, then Im allowed to do anything I want. Includes hanging out with friends or with boyfriend. I just wish that I could make it up to ya guys and this time, on the behalf of my very 18th birthday, I would like to celebrate it with my family and all of my friends. :) Hope ya guys forgive me.

Anyways, however on the 25th Dec 2009, I couldn't manage to spend my x-mas, neither with my friends or my family member. I've been working since lately. This all happens as if I have some sort of bad luck stuff. Im having stupid and crazy financial problems, relationship probs, family matters, myself.. ah .. everything la.. Its sux. This year of x-mas, I have to admit that this year DOESN'T ROX, IT SMELLS SUX LIKE MY FCU*KING SOCKS!! .. For my entire life, I've only receive 1 present on my x-mas this year. This might sound a lil stupid, but its true. And, precisely I have NO x-mas spirit for this year. Cipet sial pantat de babi! >.<" I just couldn't resist it! Urghh! Frankly, this year had brought me into lotsa lotsa miserable and crazy kind of life. For sometimes too, I can't really seem to happy, not even for a second. I could just only gave them, who sayang me, a fake smile and laughter. But, as far as I can recall, I guess that there's many out there too had not a wonderful time on their x-mas too. Well, in short. What I mean is there are few people who are out there, they also have no spirit to cele8 and so do I, but I don care. While others who are spending their time with their ones celebrating x-mas, Im just left by aside just to watch them enjoy the happy moments and having fun spraying foam around, everywhere. (haih) .. Moreover, I've been having lotsa lotsa thoughts stuck on my mind. I mean, hey I've changed tremendously. My EVERY single appearrance. Hairstyle, makeups, fashion, attitudes etc. And even my cell phone number. ( =.=#)

Futhermore, I guess that Im happy and satisfied with having all my friends around me like Elvina, Pam, Ken(Budak KL), KenReeCavie, Marcus Wong, DarDar, Azhari, Hafiz, KahYing, Weimenn, JingWei etc. I love these friends, not forgetting my own personal BFFs too. (hehe). . . . =) I really do appreciate those advises (especially from Elvina,KahYing,WaiJin) , supports (especially from Mandy) and opinions on everything that I need. I mean hey! even tho that we are not that kinda close to each other, but yea thats what friends are for aite. What can I say for more is that do appreciate, learn to love, forgive the one that you have beside you but also not neglecting the love for your family too.

Each day and each very time, every single moment and every single minutes counts. Been watching her life keep moving on with every test that she had to pass and also try enjoy every single day with happy. Ah well, it could be a boring day but there's truly plenty of work to do since dad got accident lately. Hmm. . . =\ (haiz)

Well, I would like to stop here now. I got lotsa work to be done. Will update again, there's plenty of pending posts to be update later.

Arios!

Till Then,

XoXoX.

Reb signing out.

I Gotta Feeling - B.E.P

Hello and Good Nite too. Hay, look whose back in blogging world today. Well, just gonna update it in a short one too. O am gee . . . . just take a look at what time now. Its morning jor lu. =) swt.

For now, Im seriously in a "big" trouble now. You could say that Im kinda in miserable life now, Its just messed up .. for a moment now. Hmm.. I bet almost all my friends knew that my dad got into an accident, a bike accident. =/. You see, this guy (my dad), he won't listens to anyone, I mean hey, eventho he knew that his cacat (polio) but stills wanna sit on his bike. Damn It! He is damn 7 stubborn one of a kind de. Plus, I thinks that the GOD is punishing him, but the question is would he listen and changed after all had happened to him?  Come on. He got into accident and that his leg got fractured, he can't walk, just have to sit on a wheel-chair. (Haiz) .. I know that although I hate him in the outside, but frankly, eventhough for knowing that Im a step of his (the eldest), I still sayang him in the inside. And, today (cuz its morning).. His going for an operation for his fractured leg, I do hope he would be fine there. Plus, maybe I'll bring this laptop along for him so that he wouldn't be boring at all and could also chat with us using skype. Daddy, I do sayangkan you.

If only you know.

Ah well, after there's so many stuff to be solve, Its finally over. Just left daddy, whose gonna go for an operate. Oh ya, not forgetting too, I wanna apologise for those (someone) for being M-I-A in my blog lately, I've been a busy girl since. Yes, seriously, Im back in the firm, plenty of jobs that have to be done. Stupid lawyer firm.!! (hehe) ;P    ;P

Well, guess what? New love arrived. Will update about us soon. Wait ya! There's more!

Got too bored! With accountant thingy.. here some evidence!

Scroll Down dude!!

But before that, FACEBOOK 1st!

if wanna hv more frns, does only FB works? Thrs others too werd. =..="

na .. this my page lor (lol)

Lappy's art-work =D

Ghost? Nope.

reb kiss reb? Nope.

the REB twins sister! xD

all-time-fav! xP

Shots! Aim! BANG! (kidding la)

Scroll Down!

This what happens when your too stress doing ACCOUNTS!

helping the firm counting cash vouchers.(haiz)

my writings. (Urghh!)

this another victim.(me :'(, stress)

victim's new hairstyle. (nice ma?) =/

her world goes upside-down. (kesian kan?)

her work table. (mess, malas nak kemas)

her latest laptop.

HP HDX Premium Series. xD

going FB and online. (poor kid) =/

It look like this. Reb's baby! xD

guess whose?(Durh!) Its her blog la.. =..="

That's it. Im tired. Now these belong to REBECCA!

No copyright allowed. =) Thank You.

Till then,

Stay tuned for more.

Rebecca signing out!

For Your Entertainment - Adam Lambert
Automatic - Tokio Hotel

Bloggies! Hey yall!

Reb is back, with a boring one post..

well, gotta go and have a car wash later on. Guess what?! My sexy-biatch Hsu Anne from Aussie is coming to rock KL with me. Damn! (hehe)

Well, got so addicted with these two songs liao.

anyways, gotta run.. sooner or later will update it soon :)

Till then,

stay tuned for more coming up next!

Rebecca signing out.

James Blunt - Soldier

Xup peoples ..

Here I am, been tryna update the blog but actually she's out of ideas and latest stuffs.

A boring one, gonna make it short enough.

My Gosh~~

Well, actually a new ones arrived in her heart.

Talk about it next time and more pix too!

Do wait!

Till then,

stay tuned for more, my friends.

p/s :: Damn! I've got my hair cutted! hmm .. =(

Happy - Leona Lewis

Well, came in blogging just because darn bored with her studies for perdagangan. Laugh out loud? Cheh! Well Moi went to One Utama with her ponteng-gangs.. Ahakz..

Better believe it, this girl is a no-no to good attitude, but yes good girl GONE bad. =)

So why not take a sneak peek on what she is doing there?

CAMWHORE (durh)

Take 1

the ponteng-gangs =|

Take 2

All-time-favourite ever! sweetZ..

Take 1

the triplets? nope.

Take 2

the bones? too skinny.

Take 3

The smiles =)

Look at me? Kaki Ayam. Pantat!

Yup, she wearing my heels.. same tall huh? hehe..

its me and her against the world.? What?!

Haha.. well that's all for now.

Till then,

stay tuned for more aite. ciaoz people.

Facedrop - Sean Kingston

Here I am again with my lappy. Hello bloggy, Its quite some time now. All through the night I lay awake in my bed with my book beside of me. I've been thinking and wondering what is life if its always full of care and loves, but we have just the time to stand and stare? Stop and stare. Well, maybe I've been such a fool to update this all? I guess that Im just hard-pressed to cope with all kinda things. Like a friend of mine (a guyfriend) when he knew I was down after those breaking-up thang, he came to console me down and advised me. He even told me that although it is kinda bad enough to know the past but maybe it would be intolerable to know the future. Life itself always have its up and down, happy and sad, loving and caring etc. On this matter, he reminded me that there never seem to be enough for people who seek to find relief and escape from meaningless lives and also dreadful existences.

In fact, there are some of the serious questions that need to be answered and also steps taken to avoid possible calamities. And yes, I'd admit that it had been the sweetest thing in that day when he is there when i needed someone. To be frank, never in my life had I felt this sighed with relief before. Perhaps this what friends are for. I suppose I should look at my life with optimism and feel thankful that they are alive, the likelihood that I will go out to do the things that I love to do and not forgetting to enjoy every single minute of it. The Sun will always shines for people who can do this, Im getting older, not younger. Reaching to the life of 18th, which is the starting point of going college and working. It ain't gonna be easy for me to be in outside world there all by my own. Its much more tough, it has full packed of adventures and dangers too. Life's only a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

On top of all these things, I'd say family and friends are the necessary parts of a person's life. They act as companions in our voyage through life. And with them too, we experience and share many things. Learn to love, hate, joke, and be a normal-functioning human being. This kinda "learning process" is a wonderful thing except at the times when I am forced to do things that I do not want to do. My words are final. For now, I am much more matured and big girl enough to look after myself. I don't need anyone to tell me what to do that could decide my future. And by this matter too, I was bombarded with all sorts of arguments and advises. And this is one I dislikes. Ordinary life itself is filled with enough drama and excitement to stimulate the senses. I mean there are other distasteful things I do not like to do, but these are few in numbers. Most things do have some kind of loveliness in them. Just like the old song goes :: "Everything is beautiful, in its own way", People on the Earth, I could say there is beauty no matter small or big or whatsoever shapes is around us and in everything we do. I look at beautiful things (not human beings) and enjoys them. Well, distasteful things are pale by comparison.

Ok. Back to my part. Recently, I am having breathing problems now. Well, in short, I could hardly breathe with my nose for some time, all I could do is only to kept depending on my mouth-breathing and also medicine. Although Im still on medication now, its not enough. I was outta stock of my medicine. I act as if Im A-OK infront of everyone because I bearing this suffer burden since I was small. What could I do? I feel damn pathetic and helpless. What can I do to get rid of this even tho its already fated. But somehow, when I look at my family, told myself to be stronger and do what I suppose to do. Just look at how time flew past.

And yes, is definitely not probably that most of my years, my experiences were the painful ones. Not forgetting too! I will NOT bring up that matter (bout me and Joshua) ever again. So don't ask why. DOT! What is already gone, already gone. And now, Rebecca is not a part of anywhoseoever's life anymore. What is finish, its done. My words are final. But for now, Im suffering because have to bear the heavy burden all along. Nothing is left except the memory of a shared experiences. And for now, Rebecca is gonna keep move on even tho she is alone, but its true that she don't needs anyone to bear the suffer or be in the same kinda situation as hers anymore. Live life to the fullest and stay happy. Be positive in everything. =)

Well, I have come to the end of this post. I could go on definitely but I seems tired for now although there stills have much more to tell. Thus again, I've gotta continue my revision for exam and sign off. Maybe I'll come back for another time to update after my SPM is over.

Till then,

stay tuned.

p/s :: Is life too hectic to enjoy fully? Ask yourself. =)

Reb is outta here. 

Straight Thru My Heart - Backstreets Boys

Hey bloggy, Im here again. Yup! its me, the emo-loner for once more. For now, Im kinda sad and maybe a lil regret. I mean yea.. for what had really happen to me is simply unresistable man. Actually, in the very first beginning, I was in full thoughts and Im always stuck between the thoughts on me and him. I don't know what exactly was im thinking on that time, when he tells me that Im the girl that he mainly wanted for his all life. I mean, hey! not everyone is perfect, NOT EVERYONE. I was shock by then when he asks me to get a job which is an airline cabin crew in Air Asia. Ok, i was thinking that was kinda cool cuz I can cope up with some cool people all over the world and also yea travelling, that's what I want for my life man. Hey! sometimes he is kinda understandings, but yea sometimes he is kinda rude to me too by speaks out those f* words.. -sigh- ..

Well, for now all I can do is that Im a big girl now to forgive and forget everything in my life now. Every single memories, promises and future? bout this im not so sure what it brings me to, i suppose that this future is only left for us to be seen and its always unpredictable ones. Hmm.. I don't have any words left for now I feel kinda sad and regret of just left him aside. I mean yes, I dumped him aside. I really don't know what Im doing by that time. Maybe I was a dumbo by then? I've been thinking that why is that Im in a relationship with a guy that I don't even know in person. And plus, I don't even know who he is or whatever his background was like. I guess Im a fool in this matter? I don't know man. I mean, yes i should know every single detailed about him. Maybe this what I don't realise in this matter. Waddafcuk! I hates when it comes to this matter. Am I still dreaming or "khayal"? I don't wanna know what is going around him .. I just spend too much time of missing him and kept blogging just ................

I just hatez this feeling now. I feel so damn heartless and meantime too, I feels sux about this.

So yea, maybe I still need times to forgive and forget everything. I really apologise for this had to happen to us. I guess he also wanna know why? Alright then. I'll say it now. Right here and right now. I ask to break up is because I felt that your not the guy that mainly what I really need and plus you always fcuk me around, Damn! I hates it so much, remember when you simply accuse me for creating the god-damn facebook account whosoever fcuktArd bastard named "bernard james" ! Gah!! fcuk it man! Your the one who is dreaming of this all, and now I am seriously hating you more and more after all that stupid accusation of yours. You really damn pathetic. Get a life would ye? Maybe my life is should be better and  A-OK without you at the first place. Maybe I was wrong in everything, but you could open your mouth and tell me straight away right? But did you? NO comment. Im outta words when it comes to you. I really don't know what you thinks of me man even tho you don't even know me in person, and so do I. Maybe this was the first mistakes that we took. We only do our lil intro in cellphone and also in msn. That's wrong man. -sigh-

I suppose that I would like to stop over here now. Im not gonna brought up this matter ever again. What is gone, its gone. Whatever is over, its already over and it will never comes back. And yea, one more thing, Don't ever ask me how am I or whatsoever. I DISLIKES talking to you. Thank you.

Stay tuned.

Till then. Stay updated for more. =)

p/s: If only you know, sometimes sorry got no cures.

rebecca is already gone. now and forever.

needs rest here. Its peacefull. =) buhbye.

Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson

So yea, people on the Earth! Im back in single life again!

Im finally being in my own lonely emo world again for once more, and yea starting to say goodbye to all my memories, I guess this whats happens if a person don't even know how to keep their relationship long enough. I mean hey, if you know how to keep or you could say it as in maintaining a longer one, you are always wrong.

But seriously, I just kept hoping that he will always be happy out somwhere there without me. I still miss him although we are not in relationships no more. Frankly, I do miss him so much even tho I knew that I already hurt him alot, but I know that he is much stronger to handle this all by his own. And for now, maybe I could say that its already fated that we don't belong together. I could not hold on anymore on those kinds of promises and lies.

Maybe this is what we suppose to be in the first place, not being together for not knowing each other in the first place, elvina was right too. How could I love a person that I don't even know himself. .....

All I can say is I truly wishing your always happy there.

be happy in ur life, you could get a better girl than me.

Live life to the max. =) Goodbye sweetheart, now and forever.

miss you.

Heart_breaking ! Damn! :'(

Outta Here - Esmee Denters

Guess this is it. . . Its finally over between me and him..

thanks for the "help" that you gave... frankly we are not in a relationships in reality.

I suppose when it is the time for us to keep move on, just keep moving on and try to live a happily life.

:'( I didn't know what was he really thinks of me, maybe Im a bit emo when elvina asks me whether im in a relationships with Joshua, but later on when I say yes, she told me that he tells her diff story or whatsoever nd says no, he was just helping me out. Wow! this is what he do all the time.. I dunno man.. stop acting sweet infront of me, I don't know whether you do really have the feelings for me , for who I am.. but now, maybe I felt a lil regret of not knowing you at the first place and started to be with you...

You know what?! Let just forgets about all this and live our own life. wish you happy always without me. haiz... its ok its alright..

goodbye, my love.

Take good care of yourself.

If your not the one - Daniel Beddingfield

looking forward for my true love? I don't really know what im gonna say in this matter.. as I am damn 7 hurt since yesterday and plus maybe no one would ever understands this kinda feeling at all.. The point is that, am I a kinda girl that is easily to get hurted by the one that I love.. the one that I care.. the one whom I can share my life with thru every single obstacles.. the one that I called a hero.. and the one who will always stays by my side... ..... this is just not right, for me. Frankly, I have been recovered from my fcuking sickness in "relationships" with some bunch of guys who only chase after girls (teenage) with those so-called-perfect-looking faces and not only for that, they chase afters for hot bods too. Hey! not tryna say anyone or whosoever in here, but yea look! its the facts.. Girls like us just have to face it....

Not asking for anything, I just wanna say that although I tried so many time to be the best for him, it just won't happen seriously. Im not perfect, and I don't even claim to be a perfect one either, but you know what?! I don't think you'll give a damn on this as this is me, Im always myself. I admits that I used to lies and kept bullshits around, but hey like I said, I've changed my own perspective .... towards myself. You could say whatever you want, you could do whatever you like, and yea you can just fcuk off and be outta my life if you wants me to be a perfect.. Not everyone is alright.. I mean maybe in this time, although Im having problems that kept playing in my life but no, that doesn't mean that I don't care for you, I do. Maybe it was me for thinking so much, but hey in here, Im always myself and just tryna express what im thinking or what im listening.... Its up to you if you wanna still move on WITHOUT me.. I don't care anymore..

Seriously, I been crying for the past few days because im afraid that one day you'll get bored of me and just throw me aside... (sigh).. And ye know what? you always hurts me by scolding me and kept saying im bluffing.. waddafcuk.. hey! Im not your toy or maid okay.. im me.. a human being that also got feelings man.. and Im not so sure that are you the one for me? for the one who really cares about me, dude, seriously your not, I know if you sees this, maybe your gonna feel hurt or pissed or whatsoever..frankly for now I dun even know who you are or what you do. Guess what they say was kinda true, sometimes if ye wanna be loved, make sure that the fellar is trully for you. But you? no comment seriously. Im not trying to say that I hates you or something like that.. but yes I can't bear the burden anymore, its really damn suffering to keep it deep inside my heart and not telling this to anyone.. Im afraid, what people would think of me man, but for now, faces can just fcuk off my side.. I don't give a damn about it anymore. One thing for sure, I just wanna know the truth whether yes or no.. maybe you couldn't understands what im crapping here but hey i've still got my pride.. and its need to be taken care of. Well, try ask yourself, do you really care what I feel? Do you really love me for WHO I am? Are you willing to sacrifise yourself for me and share the whole life with me? Think again alright. Im not gonna ask for more..

And yea, I don't need your help or whatsoever.. Im not a greedy-bitch la okay.. Maybe what makes you think of me is that I always have to be a whole-time-perfect just for you.. I don't know man.. This is really suckx my life.. btw dude, don't always tryna pissed me off or hurts me by kept saying ILOVEYOU, IMISSYOU.. if you don't really feel that way.. just don't mention it infront of me or neither your friends, because I think maybe iloveyou enough to set you free.. so why not fly away? Your FREE!! Get it?

Sorry because I don't have any cellphone to make a call and call you up just to tell you this, I guess I know why this relationships don't last long.. sorry to dissapoint but anyways this is the facts alright.. you just have to face it.. all by yourself.. I guess this is it, we're end ... Forgets our promises , we are final.. the game is over.. :'( take care.. be happy in your life without me.. that would make you more happier.. and thank you for every moment and every seconds that you've spend on me.. i really love you enough to set you free, its the time now that i should tell you that we are better off being in single life again because I think that this kinda relationship, it just won't last long.. know why? what for if you still wanna keep this relationship on but already knows that there's none faith or trust in me anymore.. so why bothering me as your life? This is crazy.

Damn it! I would just stop here.. dun feel like saying it anymore.. because it really hurts me and kept tearing my heart into pieces.. as if like there's knife kept stabbing each and everytime when i stuck on this thought.. Its really a enough for me, maybe we are better suit in diff kind of world.. :'( sorry for I can't keep continuing this freaking ...... here.. Im tired of everything .. And one thing for sure, Im matured and big enough to handle everythings on my own behalf. So don't you ever try to push me into the limit that I wouldn't want it to happen. Although I still miss you, but yea as Im saying i love you enough to let you go.. Thanks again for everything. Its really appreciated. :'(

retarded right? This is how I looks when Im too tired of everything..

:'( its up to you! I don't give a damn whether you still cares or not!

scroll down... !!

Keep scrolling down!!!

Till then,

stay tuned for more updates.

:'( although its the hardest thing to say,

in the end i would say "goodbye"..

wish you happy ..

Bad Romance - Lady Gaga


Ola people. . . .

Hmm. . . . say what leh?

Actually this isn't counted as updating punye post, its just a normal thing that happen in my life.

GAH~~

wanna know what happen yesterday?! Damn it !! >.<"

Well, i told my dad that i did screwed my history papers and plus my mathx is coming soon enough.Wadafcuk right?! -____-

hmm.. yesterday my dad gave a "GREAT" counseling session on that night, it was suppose a bed time but yet his there to beri his ucapan.. =.=#

STUPID ASSHOLE CAUKIA LAN OLD MAN!! >.<"

FCUK IT MAN!

I mean, come on la k? its just SPM not even gonna be A-Levels yet right.. zzz

waddafcuk la .. he locked me up in my fcuking room.. >.<"

hmm.. tell you what, i dun even know what am i saying . . . . .

Anyways, hereby wishing every F5s good luck and All the BEST!!

p/s :: Just do your best

Study smart

Don't study hard

Till then. . .

will come back to update for more . . .

missing you prettyboy.

Outta Here - Esmee Denters

Hello world!

well, guess what?!

Im not gonna upload any pictures soon

OR

either update my fcuking blog...

exam is here.. busy busy busy with my schedules..

plus, gotta practise for my mathx , which is coming for this Monday.

Hah! anyways, i hereby wishing every F5s good luck and all the best yea!

Gambateh ppl! xD ..

Till then . .

Get me outta here! >.<"

Two Is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls ft Taylor Swift


Hello bloggy,

As far as I can recall, I have not been very attentive towards my studies for the first half of the year. As a result, I obtain poor passes in all the subjects. My teachers and parents advise me to double up my efforts so as to achieve better marks in the coming Trial Exams. But i could manage of getting 2nd place in my class for Khairul, the smarter nerdy-look guy took my 1st place. But somehow I am inclined to take things easy. Damn! I realise that i have actually failed my teachers and parents miserably by my stupid poor performance. And most of all I have FAILED myself! Gah! My future is at stake! T..T. . .

I also realise that many a golden time have i allowed to waste away in idleness and fooling around. I know that if i continue to adopt this lackadaisical attitude, i am DOOMED TO MORE FAILURE!! For now, i have a short time to catch up on my studies. And for all that, my mind is made up! I must not let down my teachers, friends, bibi and also parents. In this way round, i could have the more knowledge at the tips of my fingers. Futhermore, they too tell me to consult the examination guide-books which are available in bookshops and study how the questions are dealt with. But also warn me not to overwork myself. As the saying goes by, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", I ought to divide my time wisely so that I have sufficient time for study, for play, for food, for exercise and also for sleep.

I mean if i do all these, then I should be able to pass my exams with "FLYING COLOURS". Above all, they tell me not to be nervous and become a victim of "exam fever". These are ailments of those who do not prepare for their subjects well. On the other hand, some of my friends tell me to take things easy. If you don't wanna study, why bother? They say. Useless betul! Let fate decide what the future holds for you. I mean whatever the future brings we have no guarantee nor certainty. For I, only know that when the future becomes present, many surprises occur and most of them are pleasant. Even the bad things are tolerable, so there is no point for me of keep on worrying.

The truth is that, these friends do not make any effort to improve their studies. They merely go through the motion of studying when the teacher asks them to do so, well dun misunderstands on this matter, for I am not saying anyone here okay. There is no commitment or enthusiasm in their work. Maybe they have resigned themselves to eventual failure. I realise that I have been behaving like them but I am determined now NOT to let the situation worsen. I will NOT allow myself to be overcome by hopelessness or complacency.

I also know that only hard work from now on is kinda like late but it stills will do me any good. I know a better future awaits those who passes good examinations grades and I intend to be one of those kinda people too. In a way, getting good results would probably be a sort of repayment to my both parents and teachers for all the dedication, edu, support, care and also attentions they have given me. Thus, "The Will To Succed" has already becoming one of my motto and by following it too I could probably knew that success will come to my way. But for now, I could say that it's been a year that I have to bear my burden on my own, but now as I am having my life-partner, Deejay J who are sharing everything in me, with me. I also know that he wouldn't just leave me all alone here, but sometimes I do know that he is always trying his best for me. And for that too, I heart him alotZ. . .and it's uncountable. =)

Thus on the whole, I must say that I am quite an actress too. Well, all of us are. We have to because circumstances do not permit us to do as we please. People have to act in certain ways so as not to disturb the order of things. In short, we have to live and let live. Well, I have come to the end of this, I could go on indefinitely for I have many stories to tell out, but I am expected to close here. Thus again, I have to give in to expectation and sign off.

Till then.

Stay tuned for more updates bah! . . .

p/s :: I miss you Bi. Every single day and night.

Wishing you were here laying by myside and

never let me go. .

Just want you to know that I'm always stuck on the thoughts of me and you.

Missing you prettyboy.

xoxo . . . .

You Belong To Me - Taylor Swift

Hello bloggy,
Firstly, I would like to APOLOGIZE to my babyboy, Deejay Joshua and also my pool-partner, Baby MY. To my babyboy, Im sorry for everything. Bi, I do know that bi is the jealous-type and so do I. And yes, I admit that I wrote that "I miss my ex" and I realise that it had actually hurt your feelings. Im sorry again, Bi, I have already placed you in my heart and I do know that only me that could love you this way. . . but Bi, dun let your emotions takes control over you for I am loving you and ain't nothing gonna change my love for you. It won't happen, I promise you. Baby, since the day you came into my life, I felt the-whole safety, comfortable and also your love. I do really understands how you feel when you tell me that your jealous and its only just yesterday I wrote that. Baby, I just wanna tell you that no matter what happens, or whatever it takes, I'll still always love you. Just wants you to remember this always and forever,

YOUR MY ONE AND ONLY LIFE AND HEART,

ME DEEJAY, MY MAN, MY MUSIC AND MY SOUL!

AIN'T NOTHING GONNA CHANGE MY LOVE FOR YOU,

NO ONE IS GONNA TAKE IT AWAY, IT STAYS WITH YOU,

MY LOVE IS ALWAYS FOR YOU AND ONLY YOU,

I HEART YOU BI ! ! xoxo . . .

love you as always myboy.

miss you.

Do You Remember - Jay Sean ft Sean Paul

Hello bloggy,

Ok, back to yesterday's part.. I haven't finish it at the that time, so now imma redo again? Lazy ler. Ok, to my Baby MY, I apologise that I last minute canceled our date of going for a pool game. Sorry chico, I would make it up to you after finish SPM and after my 18th birthday. And also, not forgetting my bibi too as I'm gonna stay with him temporary to look for a part-time job and college.. hmm . . . damn confused  :S

Anyways, I'm just simply downright lazy to update my blog for I'm having tight schedules for my SPM is around the corner. I suppose that most people who do not find interest in life itself. Which most people who find that they have too much time on their hands, in matter of fact, this attitudes needs correcting. I mean if they look at life with PESSIMISM  and then feel depressed about it, obviously things are not going to look interesting. While on the other hand, if they look at life with OPTIMISM and feel thankful that they are alive, the likehood will be that they will go out to do the things they love to do, and enjoy every minute of it. And of course life itself is always filled with obstacles and problems. If one allows such barriers to prevent one from living then one might as well be dead. The trick is to look above these obstacles and problems and beyond the black clouds of depression. The sun is always shines for people who can do this. Remember, Life is never dull. There is plenty to do. Spare time with your precious ones is always the wonderful time too.

Haihz. . . Till then.

Stay tuned for more..

p/s :: Bi, I'll always love you for who you are,

no matter what I'll be by your side.

And I promise that my love for you,

can NEVER change till the end. =)

Feel tired. . down.

I miss you babyboy =/

I Gotta Feeling - B.E.P

Hello Bloggy,

Could I just express out everything and put it in the blog for I cannot express it out by mouth anymore. I hates repeatition, I don wanna confuse my fcuking brain by kept on repeating the same answer the question that kept haunting inside. Hmm ... =/

I mean yes, in the very first beginning I did not wanna have a blog bout my family matters. Its too privacy, but this ain't no more pri de vate.Well, after took the advises from my teachers and few of my friends and owning a blogspot . . . . My purpose of opening a blog is because I just wanna express all my feelings here, thats all. Damn! What was Im babbling about?! =/

Okay, back to my part. Well, ye see that I've updated about the post just now which was about my dad/STEPDAD return from Shah Alam, my aunt's place and starting to make hell out of noises as if like his POSSESSED!! O.O" And yeah, before that, my stepmom told us that his been making hell of noises since his in Shah Alam. Haizyer . . . small matter transform into A BIG TROUBLE!!

After then, he kept shouting at us by saying that our work is not good, we are always the bunch of assholes ... bla .. bla .. bla ..=/ So we just stood infront of him like soldiers, standing up straight, putting our head down and plus no movement at all till my whole body cracked up except for Jo, she selamba je. >.<"

-SKIP-

Hmmm . . . . .

I mean it's been a few years that 2008 had just ended with a blink of an eye and then came along 2009 , the bad lucks, and soon enough 2010 its coming, which a brand new year for me and everyone too. I mean look how fast the time passed and guess what?!!

I'M 18 YEARS OLD BY JANUARY 05 YEAR OF 2010 . .

WOOHOO . . .!!!! xDD . .

Sighness . . . Its been almost 7-teen years since I've been with this sickness . .  I could hardly breathe for some time and my throat is getting painer. Ah well . . . I guess I shud keep moving on with this life and not making my family worries.. Hmmm . .  I mean there are no good times that I've been through although I have learn something new each day and each time in my life but that doesn't mean that I've changed. But so far so close, I've changed my style of dressing, my style of thinking, my behaviour and plus changed my perspective towards my bf too . . hehe . . xP . Hmmm . . Frankly speaking, I do still miss my ex although I knew that I've done something that he dislikes, although we are not together now but Im still hoping that he could live a better life in a better world with a better choice of his. Actually, I have been thinking about this all so much that now it had actually really affected my studies. Gah~~ worst part is no more pool and clubs!!

SPM IS AROUND THE CORNER AND ITS GETTING MORE CLOSER !! >.<"

Till then.

Stay tuned for more. =)

p/s :: This either you controls your attitude or it controls you.

Take your choice. Buhbye.

Silly Boy - Lady Gaga ft Rihanna

Hello bloggy,

hmmm ... yesterday nite was kinda crazy at the beginning as my dad just got back from Shah Alam and then just scolded me 99 all in sudden as if like his on fire. But he is, well, I din notiice that he scolded my brother and a worker at Shah Alam. Haiz.. ... whatever la. Back when he kept scolding me from around 11pm till 2am, Waddafcuk! zz ... people no need to sleep ge meh! And yeah, one by one kena scolded 99, almost everyone kena screwed by that nite. Oh Mee Gad! Damn YOU, old man! I damn 7 hate him now.. Not say now, but always since I'm small I've keep revenge towards him!! >.<" Watch OUT!

This what I really hates about him ::

1. YOU made our life miserable in the first place and yet your saying we brings you more burden.

2. YOU, your not the person who really have responsible at all. Why am I saying that is because you can't even survive in the true life!

3. YOU, your not the person that really brought me in this family, it is your mom who really ADOPTED me and put me in this family, and I am indeed feel very grateful of that but now? She's gone, Forever. T..T

4. YOU are the one who changes alot. Don't push always tryna push the blame on me la okay. Just look at yourself, old man. Damn YOU!!

5. YOU, once you came back from work.. LOL! your just trying making me laugh over you la. I do know you! YOUR a king of LIARS! YOUR always full of lies. I just learn from based on what YOU have teached only ma, So, shud the blame be on YOU or ME? Moron!

6. YOU teached Jon to go for prostitution at the age of 13.. LOOK! he is only 13 years old, still so young and yet you, THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER destroy his future! And also starting to teach him and drag him into the darkside! Do you ever realise of that? NO!! Because I think that YOUR THE ONE WHO ARE SLEEPING IN A DREAM WORLD! Wake up la SOHAI OLD MAN!!! >.<"

7. YOU starting to bring in some ciplak ugly-looking prostitute inside Uncle Bernard's office and also at home. YOU THE ONE WHO ITCHY BACKSIDE AND GO AROUND FCUKING!! Walao! Do you think your so blady geng?! NO! YOU got brain, you shud be using it la moron! I STARTING to HATE you after you SLAP on my mom, and also that it reminds me of something, which is I slapped your precious wife too!! FCUK YOU! You think your what? AGONG ga? Balik Tong Sat la! LU takda sesuai sini la! LU caukia asshole!

8. YOU try to make more reasons to chase me out of the house several times, Im ready la!!

9. YOU try to make more and more bullshits reasons to slap me, right?! YES!! YOU did. Just take a look of yourself, YOUR a cacat fellar la, Im still young la old man. Why not? YOU just fcuk of my side then.

10. YOU make up all of your story and then go tell your friend you got this la you got that, SOHAI! Don't you  realise that everyone is HATING you like shit. They treat you nice now, but later on? What Happen? YOU don't know too right. Don't think you got bunch of friends, doesn't mean that you can still hurt me.

All I can say that every single thing that you have give education, support, money etc. Thats all FAKE! Understands?!! MORON!! CAUKIA old man! And I hates it when you ask what I wanna be, A GRO? A Prostitute? FCUK YOU MAN!! I know you hates me and let me tell you this too I HATES YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!!!!!

Old man .. old man .. you just have to wait for my revenge .. Its coming soon enough .. then don't need the hell to come and fetch you, for I can SEND you to HELL too, ye know?!! Your lucky cuz Im having SPM now.. if not, YOUR gonna get it from me.. Imma still keeping my revenge towards you, and yes every Capricorn does keep revenge. REMEMBER that!! And soon enough too, imma be 18 years old, I'll get out of this house, Im not gonna stay with you anymore, imma work for my lil brothers and sisters, I DON'T NEED your fcuking help at all by that time, YOU can just fly kai! Go and live with your precious chinese GF of yours la, I CURSE YOU ONE DAY YOU'LL SLOWLY SLOWLY SUFFERING ONE BY ONE, GAH~~!! Your day haven't come yet, and so do your precious gf.. you just have to wait.

REMEMBER that! Imma have my revenge on you soon enough. For I got plenty of time cuz Im still young. >.<" Damn YOU old man!! Damn im kinda tired now.. maybe update it next time. =\

Till Then ..

Stay tuned for more updates ..

p/s :: Im not drunk when im blogging. This is my facts. Believes it or not, you decide. Plus, I don't bullshits on this matter. =)

Well, got to go for it is gonna be a busy day.

xoxo .. lovess

Everyone have 2 sided poker face.So do I.

hehe ... miss you guys Andrew YJF.

Mandy, Leng, Everyone.