t0t@lLy 0uT 0f mInD =b

haiz... I hate being like this...!!
sick of this shit !!
dun feel talking to anyone ... everyone!!
well ... who seems to care so much ... NO ONE!!
dun wanna noe.. dun wanna care.. just study study study....... sWtZZ..!!
fuck it! Fuck fcuk fcuk!!...
now i realise that smth is definitely different in me !!
urghhh :'( fuck it stupid blady macauhai!! =X
fcuK !! haiya.. tired fucking jor ?!! LOL.. xDD

but then when study all the time it also just wont get inside my head de..
i mean hey! who cares alot bout me .. myself dun even feel wanna take care myself jor la..
dam! and yea.. well these days really boh study for like 5 days ady lu.. cuz every nite have to teman this guy which his name is ... [dun wanna say it out] =P and [admit this guy is really a sweet-talker] but plz dun think of that, imma gonna fall for it again.. NEVER!! its a totally NO way man!!
every day and every nite @ 12.. 1.. 2.. or till next morning also we are still hanging on the phone..
he would probably always say hi rebecca are you ok.?! if not he would be saying baby i miss you so much..
hmmph.. o.O" and then just bla.. bla.. bla... =X hahas..
well.. i was thinking this guy would probably desperate for a gf thats all.. but on the second thought...
he is actually hurt and needs sumone to talk to and yea he choose me.. wth... swtZ...
and yea his story is quite a sad case.. haiz.. kesian him.. when he told me bout his model gf..
and then lastly break.. -skip- hehe.. wtf! but among all the guys no matter clubbers.. gays... hehe..
yea he is totally different.. he is a guy which love me for my heart unlike other guys just desperate for my bod
so yea like i said.. this kind of monkey relationship for me its totally wan yuen.. habis liao..
but this fellar is really TOO desperate for me.. he ady gila over me..
shiT!!! what shud i do leh..?!!! finish relationship.. then lastly in the breaking-up season.. =\
sad case.. hmm.. but this fellar been so long since v met.. now only dare to confess his love to me.. wth!
yea i admit we do met b4.. but its just kinda like awhile at M.O.S vit bunch of clubbers frens.. so what BD?!!
stills there are nothing special inside of me right..?>!! LoL !! XDD im just being blurry all the time when we both were chattin all alone.. urGhH!! dun wanna noe larh!! sien bout that dy lor!! so just knock it off that piece of crap!!
well.. dun feel writing nomore.. sumtimes feel got mood.. only i would blog..
but yea these days dam 7 busy accompanying that fellar.. but yea admits his kinda cute too hehe.. =X
%@#$

sweet pics... xD

yup.. me drivin to frens house... xD

haiz.. no mood to write larh... maybe next time first la... =] ciaoz..

what a day..

swt.. well today is another day..

and each day brings a whole new day.. indeed.. ah.. yea right.. whole new day.. SUX my sockx man..

grhh... dunno what exact topic im gonna say .... too many to list out actually..

ya ya ya.. i do noe that my english is kinda sux.. but at least do "composition""essay" is kinda like practical thing to do right...

hmmph...=]

well.. today havin my bm n bi both paper 1.. yea indeed i did alot of essay crap in it too! Lol.. wtf!..

its seems kinda tyring day.. hahas.. recall back what happen @ school just now is totally [dunno what to say]..and yea.. M's burfday is cumin up.. im still trying to persuade my dad so that he can let me go to M's hse and cele8.. haiz.. but after doing that.. -skip- ...

hahas... well.. at school.. well ... when i was doing my essay-writing..sudden i heard this malay guy[khairul] was praying and kept saying[asta..smth].. hmmph.. i do know that some ppl do pray hard for their exam to be A-OK .. just imagine if that guy really lulus.. he vil like just jump up and down.. swt.. and yea.. he did ask me some question but we are not [tiru] kay.. just ask for meaning.. and then finish hao jor.. past up..

and yea worst thing is that i haven even finish my bm paper yet.. Grrhh!!..wat a F paper.. they only give us like 1 1/2 hours nia.. shisshh!!.. >.<".. hates it.. dunno cumin out the real wan is dim yong.. think i'll be died meat by then.. arghh!! wat a lifeless freak i am.. but these days i realise something is totally different in me.. is that i dun talk so much nowadays... im like totally in silence mood... but not today cuz yup i got cakap abit la.. but not that much jor.. dunno why..??!! haiz.. sometimes all i feel is that why everyone is changing..??that is what makes me curious .. or am i the one who thinks alot and maybe im the one who changes alot..?? im really speechless in this matter.. there's nothing i could say..freak.. emo gothic bitch!!..=[

well.. M's day is cumin soon.. what am i gonna give her..? dun even noe what she likes.. all i noe is that she likes pink.. pinky lil thingy..?? swt...

hmmph.. this kinda life has to keep move on ... my friends always tell me that "girl once you fall,get back up and keep move onn".. i can still rmb her face when she look at me and say those words.. it is so touching till i cry.. but yea.. let me say smth.. being a girl is not easy too.. cuz once ur in a relationship..u fall..u cried..and hoping someone there is always besides you is only ur friends that cares..for you.. unlike the guys.. they only likes to chui sui.. [Zomg!!plz dun say me okay!!] they always say the sweetest words to make u feel special...OMG!!! cut it out!! this all is just BULLSHITS!!.. well im a girl.. so what..? can't a girl do things like guys do..? yea i noe not to say in ***.. that piece of shit!!.. but its the truth.. girls actually can do whatsoever guys can do except that F* thingy.. so what.. to me.. guys is always be guys.. they dun change unless they are totally different... [I SAY "IF"].. lolz.. what a life man..

anyways.. my baby boy[myfriend]from Melbourne is cumin back to town.. rawkin vit me in da house.. hahas.. i missess him too much.. maybe someday i'll introduce him to M.. maybe she would like it.. hahas..maybe la.. just say nia.. later if she sees this.. she's gonna screw me 99.. hahas.. well.. i've been missing him for like 3 years man.. wtf! haha.. ... see what we can do when his back... maybe clubbin again as usual.. he drive.. im passenger.. haha... hmmph.. think that's all for today.. tyring of typing jor.. wanna study.. tmr sc paper 1 & 2.. haihz.. must score this time.. ah well... gotta run.. maybe next time i'll try to put something a lil bit interest stuff in it.. ciaoz..xD

what is happening in me.?? o.O"

Yup.. today is a god-damn-stress dayz cuz havin "exam fever" will get me lose of controlling mind..

haizz... day after day.. thought each day neither in school, work, out-going places

is always gonna be A-OK .. but not precisely exactly the truth =( hmmph..

so what exactly is about it today is yea ....>

Firstly, i was actually happy vit ma bunch of ma gang which is Mandy, Leng, Mag, U-Whye and Yik Chen..

well yea i am.. .. .. maybe thought of myself was happy. I kept laugh and laugh like a clown cuz Mandy n "Mama" were bz making jokes .. ...especially YC who always talks about her hunny bunny "YP".. LOL.. im damn freak out that it's been a longest year since me n YC were best friends and now finally i noe that YC is a "les" hehe... LOL.. maybe ..ah well...

--skip it--

the point is that am i always happy vit all my friends around.. ?! do they really understands what i feels..?! i guess the only best friends that understands me is only Mandy n yea Leng obviously... Joanne..Nicole..n yea Mag too.. haihz.. i know that i wasn't suppose to question this.. but yup telling out the truth is much better than telling lies .. swtZ.. guess that "counselling session" between me and Mandy really works it out in me.. haha.. thx Mandy.. i do really appreciated it much ... xD

:'( wuwwuwuuu .... .....

haihz.. that "massive" SPM is cumin and its memang around de corner.. no more clubbing to relieve stress..[hehe] no more chattin online [can but once awhile] no more hanging out vit friends jor..all i can do now is "dok shu" only..Grrh.. study is bored sial.. sien dy leh.. hates it!! Gah!! =O shiisshh..later study oso tak boleh masuk kepala punya memory de.. BODOH BABI SIAL!! haha..wow.. improving ma bm ady..[keke]

=( hmmph...

well.. still rmb what they say abt me.. ppl says i always bullshit around lidat .... and yea i admit i do ... but when M starting to advise on that -my behaviour n attitude- .. [that time i was @@ shock out] but yea i still accept what she says is totally true.. cuz of the "counselling session" was trully a "new light" for me.. hahas.. and yup she did told me too about "karma"..[when thing comes around it goes around]macam pergi balik lidat..?! =] but im still happy cuz M, L n others still accepts me for who i am and what i do. this is trully best friends that u really can't find..they are always there for me when im sad, emo, quiet, cry...etc. they are always ready to be my ear ... shoulder ...unlike others just ask stupid questions..[dun wanna say out] =P

haihzz....

guess thats only for today.. gotta go out and take some time to think..relaxx..

[dun think i can always update this blogs anymore too bz vit my schedule] ciaoz..