maggie....im really sorry....

maggie...
all i can do is just to leave u alone....
mag.....
to me...its like everythings start to dissapear..
dissappear into the background that started to silence......
sometimes i can't seem to bear in suffer and crying no more.....really too tired...
GOSH~~ ...sometimes i feel .... this isn't really like myself anymore... n i still wonders why..
n what happen to me...???!!...
its not that i hate you mag....
and this is the truth .... jz dun say everyone boleh cakap sajelah ..
when i was trying to explain on ytd nite... u jz dun give a dam at all.. n its feels so...dam!
seriously...been through all the hard times vit you before..
rmb when u used to cry all the times at sch.. i really felt that im ur friend...n im always there for u...and since on that day too.. we became close...real close...
haiz...for this time maybe u jz really nids time......i vil not bother u anymore...
serious...i do noe ur mad at me now...and yea i really do understands....
and i jz can't seem to do nth....im so sorry....
but i still dun get the point of the words from you...????
why do u say i hate you in the first place... i really dun get that... maybe its jz a misunderstanding..or maybe not ....
all i can say is this....

" i really wanna have a nice..happy life vit u guys.."
:_: and i dun wanna get involve in any monkey relationship no more...
T..T i do really wish that u'll forgive me once again...
all i want is jz wishing that this FRIENDSHIP moment will last forever....

i promise that i'll always be myself...
i promise that i'll always be true to u guys...
and yea...jz feel bad or sorry is not enuf for me to be back to u again...
yes i don understands ur feeling rite now...i noe u probably hurt or sad ...
but im wrong...and im really sorry for all stupid craps that i did..
im not blaming anyone...it is my fault.... and yes....maybe im jz a ..................
gosh~~..... T-T....and yes for everything that is happening now between u n me..
i noe to you its finally finish..yea..ok..i accept...
but im so so so so sorry for what i've done.....
all i nid now is just let the time do the work...
n yea...maybe u'll be better when the right time comes...maybe...
jz be happy...dun always sad maggie...
and FOREVER ..BEST FRIENDS...with wholehearted like u say...ok ....im so so so so sorry....mag..
yes ..maybe this is not the right time to talk to you...
but im sure ONE DAY u'll forgive me...and accept me back as ur best friends....
but all now is too late.....
i'll jz leave u alone....ok.....jz let u chill first....ok
im so so so sorry......it is really my fault this time...u can blame it on me....my wrong...
and yea....wat mandy says is also quite true...
maybe when im vit u guys...im not myself....like to drag ppl around...making stupid jokes..
i've screwed everything....i always mess things up....fix ady again messed up..
well.. mandy thx for ur advise....i do really appreciated it soooo much...
YES~~ i'll try my best to let things go....free them out...
be myself....always be truthfull....NO MATTERS WHAT.....
I STILL LOVE MY BEST FRIENDS~~
# MANDY
#MAGGIE
#LENG
#YIKCHEN
#U-WHYE
n yea.....others too....

all i can say is sorry for all stupid craps i've made...really...hope u'll forgive me....

i realise now...for not understanding myself...im sorry...

when the day you say "im sorry.. cuz of this word.. our relationship is end.. "..and u say ur sorry..
to me...for some reason it hurts..
Its like a magic spell that doesnt get undone.. its like a hint to bitterness..
sometimes felt like im totally stuck in between a friend and a lover when im vit u...
its like an unripe fruit dreaming about the day of harvest....
and i also felt being unable to just .. just move one more step forward...
maybe this is what causing all stupid crap attitude of mine...
and yes.. i do.. i do still rmb all of ur "sweet n gentle" conversations...GROSS!!
well...those words spark no interest in me anymore..
even when the things do not go the way i wanted...
but.. at least im not that kind of doll that u think i am...
but it doesnt mean i've thrown my life away...
and yea.. i did ask u "baby, whats wrong?".... and u replied me rudely..by saying...
"NOTHING LA.." ... "i don wan talk"...
and on that time, i knew there is smth wrong..
and all happen in sudden... the smile that always cheer up has begin to dissappears after hearing those words u've said....
and yea... for some reasons it really hurts....
Like i've said to u before..."i like you"... instead of " i love you".. din't i ..???
it doesnt sounds like me anymore....im totally changed...

and yes...starting the period when i suddenly rmb..the scent of sumbody that i luv had almost vanish...forgotten...
like old ppl says..." the white purity of the falling snow"...
couples...??! really want to be able to open and honestly cherish it ..???? crapz.....
i really dun wanna memorise all those sweet memories between u n me...
its really hurts a lotzz.... ur hug... ur sweet kiss... ur everything...

and on that limited time that we have.. i really do hope of spending time more jz to be vit you..
but in the end..gone.. everythings vanish.... but i realise things sometimes don go the way u want

i still can rmb the STUPIEST words that i always remind myself...
i wana be here eternally, to a place whr nobody cn find us...and all i can see u're all that i need...
OMG!! cut it off man!! ..

well... in the end of this dam crap stories....
i guess sometimes when im vit you..i think YOU are the person who likes to hide the truth behind a really good lie and hide our status from reality in a really really really dam great dreams of urs...!!!! eventhough we are that sort of couple...but u still dun seem to care AT ALL!! and thought of loving...OH~~SHIISHH!!! GV ME A BREAK!!...its no use~!!
and lastly u r the one who leave me vit the sry word of urs n all i can see is jz grey skies...kept raining all the time.....i really wanna stop all this crap la.... knowing it would be hard..
and YES~!! its really hard for me to let everything go....
ok FINE~!!!...i'll try all my best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i jz wanna have a happy life..vit my best friends...especially mandy..leng and also mag...

i do really want my normal life back...
plz .... dun wanna think no more..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FORGETS YOU!!!JAYZ BACK OFF!!!!!!

[sad][T_T]