Hello once again.
I apologise to those who awaits for my new updates here. Yes, i'd admit that since i've worked in a crazy lawyer firm, i've seriously freaking busy and also almost neglect my babyblog. Sorry to my boyfie, that i couldn't take any free time just to be with you. Well, i'll try to make it up on that. But before that, this post are only meant for type of ppl like me. -sigh-
you know.. just when i open myself up completely, in here.
i could almost lose everything, even faith and just trembles and just shed tears like a small kid.
i cant seem to trust anyone or anything nowadays. And I cant tell why?
I could just try to fake a smile even tho I try to smile.
how many lies, promises and illusions must i wade through?
im getting sick, tired and fcuked up.
every day and night.
i missed everything. everything that i love.
but im just another yesterday. And every single day is always a brand new day.
its for me to know, and for you to find out..
im no longer lonely but i feel incomplete.
or maybe i am, but i just wont admit.
the pieces has stopped breaking but the hurt sure has not.
this piece of heart is empty but its all that i have got.
this bed feels so empty, so big and so cold. just when your not around.
the feeling of loss and of grief that wont fade away.
i try to keep busy but I couldn’t just forget.
its not that i dont miss you or don’t love you, you know that i do.
but im telling you its the pride which stands in the way between me and you.
Its been lately, You have treated me like crazy from the beginning of this relationship. And that moment too i worked so hard all the time for you. where is your trust? where is the real you or your just not being yourself when your with me just because we'r only the so-called bf/gf in the cellphone? you always complaining your sad, your hope and kept on sigh as if like im the one who is giving you a damn heavy burden. so what if i made a few mistakes here and there? you could just come and talk to me right. I don't mind. everyone makes mistakes. no one is the “perfect” typo. does it justify the ways you torture me? The sleepless and tiring nights i spent awake just trying to understand everything that you wanted me to? the last minute adjustments and commitments that i always had to make just to please you? you have always been an **** to me . so its up to you whether you believe me when I say im glad to say good riddance.
If only you realise for just a day, I’ve been spending the rest of my life, looking for someone like you. I remember how we met, by taking my cell number just to make a call and yes, you did. And by that time too, "You came into my life and i thought hey, you know, this could be something cause everything you do and words you say" but there is so much time to figure out the rest of my life. Im saying all this doesn't mean that I wanna hurt your or whosoever feelings k. Alright, let's just say, Im might be a bullshitter, but i've definitely, not probably changed A LOT! I've already sacrifise and fall for the wrong one once and I promised myself that by that day onwards i will change and will never ever be in a relationships again. But, look what happen now? its crazy. My ex? -sigh-.. sometimes just look at a glance of eyes on him, it makes me feel nuts. but, what happen is i've lied to him and yeah, i've bullshitted too. I regret of what i've done in the past. More or less, saying sorry wasn't just a enough for him to forgive and forget. -sigh- maybe that's what i deserve for. Falling into a wrong one? yea. Deeply inside of me, i've been a physically-emotional at all times. I repeat! AT ALL TIMES. =) but after when that happens, thankfully there's a best friend of mine told me what to do and repent all my mistakes and the do's. She always giving advises to us, like i said she is my counsellor.. hmm..overall, i cried. So, for now maybe i just follows what her hearts tell her. And hopefully, one day, the real happiness is there awaits me. Anyhoo, Babyblog is still in progress at the moment ...
Till then. xoxo.
p/s : Readers, if you feels anything or wanna ask,
do leave message. Don't hesitate to show yourself.
Take care.
Reb signing out.
