Here I am again with my lappy. Hello bloggy, Its quite some time now. All through the night I lay awake in my bed with my book beside of me. I've been thinking and wondering what is life if its always full of care and loves, but we have just the time to stand and stare? Stop and stare. Well, maybe I've been such a fool to update this all? I guess that Im just hard-pressed to cope with all kinda things. Like a friend of mine (a guyfriend) when he knew I was down after those breaking-up thang, he came to console me down and advised me. He even told me that although it is kinda bad enough to know the past but maybe it would be intolerable to know the future. Life itself always have its up and down, happy and sad, loving and caring etc. On this matter, he reminded me that there never seem to be enough for people who seek to find relief and escape from meaningless lives and also dreadful existences.
In fact, there are some of the serious questions that need to be answered and also steps taken to avoid possible calamities. And yes, I'd admit that it had been the sweetest thing in that day when he is there when i needed someone. To be frank, never in my life had I felt this sighed with relief before. Perhaps this what friends are for. I suppose I should look at my life with optimism and feel thankful that they are alive, the likelihood that I will go out to do the things that I love to do and not forgetting to enjoy every single minute of it. The Sun will always shines for people who can do this, Im getting older, not younger. Reaching to the life of 18th, which is the starting point of going college and working. It ain't gonna be easy for me to be in outside world there all by my own. Its much more tough, it has full packed of adventures and dangers too. Life's only a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.
On top of all these things, I'd say family and friends are the necessary parts of a person's life. They act as companions in our voyage through life. And with them too, we experience and share many things. Learn to love, hate, joke, and be a normal-functioning human being. This kinda "learning process" is a wonderful thing except at the times when I am forced to do things that I do not want to do. My words are final. For now, I am much more matured and big girl enough to look after myself. I don't need anyone to tell me what to do that could decide my future. And by this matter too, I was bombarded with all sorts of arguments and advises. And this is one I dislikes. Ordinary life itself is filled with enough drama and excitement to stimulate the senses. I mean there are other distasteful things I do not like to do, but these are few in numbers. Most things do have some kind of loveliness in them. Just like the old song goes :: "Everything is beautiful, in its own way", People on the Earth, I could say there is beauty no matter small or big or whatsoever shapes is around us and in everything we do. I look at beautiful things (not human beings) and enjoys them. Well, distasteful things are pale by comparison.
Ok. Back to my part. Recently, I am having breathing problems now. Well, in short, I could hardly breathe with my nose for some time, all I could do is only to kept depending on my mouth-breathing and also medicine. Although Im still on medication now, its not enough. I was outta stock of my medicine. I act as if Im A-OK infront of everyone because I bearing this suffer burden since I was small. What could I do? I feel damn pathetic and helpless. What can I do to get rid of this even tho its already fated. But somehow, when I look at my family, told myself to be stronger and do what I suppose to do. Just look at how time flew past.
And yes, is definitely not probably that most of my years, my experiences were the painful ones. Not forgetting too! I will NOT bring up that matter (bout me and Joshua) ever again. So don't ask why. DOT! What is already gone, already gone. And now, Rebecca is not a part of anywhoseoever's life anymore. What is finish, its done. My words are final. But for now, Im suffering because have to bear the heavy burden all along. Nothing is left except the memory of a shared experiences. And for now, Rebecca is gonna keep move on even tho she is alone, but its true that she don't needs anyone to bear the suffer or be in the same kinda situation as hers anymore. Live life to the fullest and stay happy. Be positive in everything. =)
Well, I have come to the end of this post. I could go on definitely but I seems tired for now although there stills have much more to tell. Thus again, I've gotta continue my revision for exam and sign off. Maybe I'll come back for another time to update after my SPM is over.
Till then,
stay tuned.
p/s :: Is life too hectic to enjoy fully? Ask yourself. =)
Reb is outta here.
