looking forward for my true love? I don't really know what im gonna say in this matter.. as I am damn 7 hurt since yesterday and plus maybe no one would ever understands this kinda feeling at all.. The point is that, am I a kinda girl that is easily to get hurted by the one that I love.. the one that I care.. the one whom I can share my life with thru every single obstacles.. the one that I called a hero.. and the one who will always stays by my side... ..... this is just not right, for me. Frankly, I have been recovered from my fcuking sickness in "relationships" with some bunch of guys who only chase after girls (teenage) with those so-called-perfect-looking faces and not only for that, they chase afters for hot bods too. Hey! not tryna say anyone or whosoever in here, but yea look! its the facts.. Girls like us just have to face it....
Not asking for anything, I just wanna say that although I tried so many time to be the best for him, it just won't happen seriously. Im not perfect, and I don't even claim to be a perfect one either, but you know what?! I don't think you'll give a damn on this as this is me, Im always myself. I admits that I used to lies and kept bullshits around, but hey like I said, I've changed my own perspective .... towards myself. You could say whatever you want, you could do whatever you like, and yea you can just fcuk off and be outta my life if you wants me to be a perfect.. Not everyone is alright.. I mean maybe in this time, although Im having problems that kept playing in my life but no, that doesn't mean that I don't care for you, I do. Maybe it was me for thinking so much, but hey in here, Im always myself and just tryna express what im thinking or what im listening.... Its up to you if you wanna still move on WITHOUT me.. I don't care anymore..
Seriously, I been crying for the past few days because im afraid that one day you'll get bored of me and just throw me aside... (sigh).. And ye know what? you always hurts me by scolding me and kept saying im bluffing.. waddafcuk.. hey! Im not your toy or maid okay.. im me.. a human being that also got feelings man.. and Im not so sure that are you the one for me? for the one who really cares about me, dude, seriously your not, I know if you sees this, maybe your gonna feel hurt or pissed or whatsoever..frankly for now I dun even know who you are or what you do. Guess what they say was kinda true, sometimes if ye wanna be loved, make sure that the fellar is trully for you. But you? no comment seriously. Im not trying to say that I hates you or something like that.. but yes I can't bear the burden anymore, its really damn suffering to keep it deep inside my heart and not telling this to anyone.. Im afraid, what people would think of me man, but for now, faces can just fcuk off my side.. I don't give a damn about it anymore. One thing for sure, I just wanna know the truth whether yes or no.. maybe you couldn't understands what im crapping here but hey i've still got my pride.. and its need to be taken care of. Well, try ask yourself, do you really care what I feel? Do you really love me for WHO I am? Are you willing to sacrifise yourself for me and share the whole life with me? Think again alright. Im not gonna ask for more..
And yea, I don't need your help or whatsoever.. Im not a greedy-bitch la okay.. Maybe what makes you think of me is that I always have to be a whole-time-perfect just for you.. I don't know man.. This is really suckx my life.. btw dude, don't always tryna pissed me off or hurts me by kept saying ILOVEYOU, IMISSYOU.. if you don't really feel that way.. just don't mention it infront of me or neither your friends, because I think maybe iloveyou enough to set you free.. so why not fly away? Your FREE!! Get it?
Sorry because I don't have any cellphone to make a call and call you up just to tell you this, I guess I know why this relationships don't last long.. sorry to dissapoint but anyways this is the facts alright.. you just have to face it.. all by yourself.. I guess this is it, we're end ... Forgets our promises , we are final.. the game is over.. :'( take care.. be happy in your life without me.. that would make you more happier.. and thank you for every moment and every seconds that you've spend on me.. i really love you enough to set you free, its the time now that i should tell you that we are better off being in single life again because I think that this kinda relationship, it just won't last long.. know why? what for if you still wanna keep this relationship on but already knows that there's none faith or trust in me anymore.. so why bothering me as your life? This is crazy.
Damn it! I would just stop here.. dun feel like saying it anymore.. because it really hurts me and kept tearing my heart into pieces.. as if like there's knife kept stabbing each and everytime when i stuck on this thought.. Its really a enough for me, maybe we are better suit in diff kind of world.. :'( sorry for I can't keep continuing this freaking ...... here.. Im tired of everything .. And one thing for sure, Im matured and big enough to handle everythings on my own behalf. So don't you ever try to push me into the limit that I wouldn't want it to happen. Although I still miss you, but yea as Im saying i love you enough to let you go.. Thanks again for everything. Its really appreciated. :'(
retarded right? This is how I looks when Im too tired of everything..
:'( its up to you! I don't give a damn whether you still cares or not!
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Till then,
stay tuned for more updates.
:'( although its the hardest thing to say,
in the end i would say "goodbye"..
wish you happy ..
